Feb 26, 2013 11:30pm PST
, as the cardinal of cable, i'm giving you nave to narthex coverage of pope benedict's resignation in my new series "popewatch: inde-schism 2013." [cheers and applause] remembers -- remembers folks -- remember, it has been over 700 years since anyone has voluntarily depoped themselves. [laughter] well, buckle your chausable, because there are dramatic new developments. we all know that when a cardinal is elevated to the papacy, he becomes the heir of st. peter there choose a new name. so, naturally, now that benedict xvi is leaving office, he has asked that we call him simply: benedict the xvi. [laughter] okay. okay. that's understandable. he doesn't want to have to get new towels and stuff. [laughter] but that's not all. he says he's still going to be pope emiritus and his holiness, continue to wear the white robes and live in the vatican. [laughter] folks, that means there's going to be two pontiffs. we're one pope over the line-- sweet jesus, one pope over the line. [laughter] [cheers and applause] it'll be chaos. you can't have one vatican with two popes. it's like gotham with multiple batmans.